Many people avoid whom entirely because they're not sure when to use it. The good news: there is a simple trick that works almost every time.

The short answer #

  • Who does the action (subject), like he, she, or they.
  • Whom receives the action (object), like him, her, or them.

The he/him trick #

Answer the question, or rephrase the clause, using he or him.

  • If he fits, use who.
  • If him fits, use whom. (Both him and whom end in m.)

Who called you? → He called me. → who

To whom should I send this? → Send it to him. → whom

More examples #

  • The person who wrote this is talented. (He wrote this.)
  • The person whom I met was friendly. (I met him.)
  • Whom did you invite? (You invited him.)
  • Tell me who you think is right. (He is right.)

After prepositions #

After a preposition such as to, for, with, or of, use whom:

  • For whom is this gift?
  • The team with whom I worked was great.

Is "whom" still necessary? #

In casual speech and messages, who is widely accepted everywhere: Who did you invite? In formal writing, such as cover letters, essays, and business emails, using whom correctly still makes a good impression.

Check your sentence #

Not sure? Paste the sentence into AI Grammar Checker and it will choose who or whom for you.